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so I think I will write.  Currently I am slightly tired, bored, and I miss my boyfriend.  It’s a Thursday night and everyone is busy doing something but me.  I kinda don’t feel good too.  Both a lot and not a lot has happened this summer so far.  I’ve stayed home way more than I ever did last summer.  Sometimes it gets really boring, but the down time can be nice.  Sometimes my parents drive me crazy though.  Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but we can all get on each others’ nerves sometimes.  I tried looking for a job, but I had no luck whatsoever.  I applied to so many places just before I left school, and I didn’t get a single call back.  I wish I did…  There was talk about Kyle and I getting a place of our own and living together during the summers.  Obviously that wasn’t going to happen this summer, but a job would be nice so I can start accumulating income and saving up for something like that.  That’s where the a lot has happened has come from.  My mom was the one who originally suggested that idea before anyone else did, which was so strange.  I was completely taken by surprise, and so was Kyle, but we sorta started considering it.  It’s pretty crazy, I think about this relationship and how different it’s been compared to all the other ones I’ve been in.  I’m really happy, and I really do love him.  He drives me crazy and challenges me all the time, but I appreciate that because it helps me grow and become a better person.  Even though the distance really sucks during school, I honestly can’t see myself without him.  I don’t know what I’d do.  I think I’d become a crazy cat lady.  Cause sometimes I think if something were to ever happen between us, I would just be devastated and never want a relationship again.  I’d stay in school and become some powerful, influential person and still live a fulfilling life.  But who knows!  Who knows what will happen.  I hope I can graduate in three years like I have planned.  I’d like that.  School is so stressful, and only getting more and more expensive.  I’d like to finish and be a part of the working world.  And honestly, I’d like to not be seven hours away from Kyle.  I wish he wasn’t at Comic-Con this weekend.  Okay, I take that back.  I don’t wish that.  I just wish I could have seen him for longer than like 16 hours before he left.  I’m glad he’s out doing things, really, I am.  I don’t want to take up 100% of his time because then I would just feel guilty.  God I hate mood swings.  I’m getting emotional over nothing.  I’m just tired.  That’s always my fall back excuse for everything.  I really am tired though, and I’ve seen Kyle once in the past like 8 or 9 days or something like that.  And I won’t get to see him again till Tuesday.  And he forgot a phone charger so I don’t really get to talk to him all weekend either.  I sound needy and terrible but whatever, it is what it is.  I miss him and I just want all the time I can get while I’m still home for the summer.  At least one good thing about fall quarter, I have Mondays and Fridays free, so I can come home a lot easier and I can stay for longer.  That’ll be really nice.  Kyle and I are already planning one trip for me to come home in October so we can go see Circa Survive.  I’m super stoked.  They’re going to be in Santa Cruz on a Wednesday night, which is right in the middle of my organic chemistry lab, so hopefully I can fly down here that weekend and see them Friday in Pomona with Kyle.  …I was hoping this post would have been longer, but I keep getting distracted..  My attention span is way too short sometimes.  I’ve been having a hard time writing lately too.  I’ll want to write, but I won’t want to post it.  I’ll feel like I’m just complaining about nothing, or I won’t want anyone to read what I have to say.  I found my tumblr bookmarked on the downstairs computer at the beginning of summer.  Who knows how long that’s been there, but that definitely has been a deterrent from me writing as frequently as I would before.  I just feel weird that my parents can read my thoughts.  And it feels even weirder when they’ll quote stuff.  It’s like whoa, slow your roll.  They would do that before I saw the bookmarks, and I would have no idea what was going on.  It makes more sense now.  Sometimes it just feels kinda too much..  I’d feel bad for saying anything though.  I dunno if they read it anymore, cause I hardly post anything now.  I dunno why it’s weird, but it is.  I’m not hiding stuff or anything, but yeah, I’m sure you other people reading this know where I’m coming from.  I want to try to write more though.  I don’t want my tumblr to turn into just music and pictures, and I don’t want it to be completely unused either.  And I’m going to try and write more about good things, cause most of the time my urge to write is when I’m upset.  I still need to keep practicing my positivity.  It takes too much energy to be upset all the time.  So I think I’m going to end this with positive things that have happened so far over summer, for old times sake.  

Positives for the summer so far!

• I get to see Kyle at least a couple times a week.  We’ve been going lots of places considering he’s working and in school four days a week.  I’m thankful.
• I’ve been relaxing at home a lot, which is nice.  I enjoy the down time, and I enjoy the home alone days sometimes too.  It gives me time to just sit and clear my head. 
• I went to Texas last weekend!  I love going to new places and seeing new things.  I went to Oklahoma too while I was there.  Two more states to add to the list of states I’ve been to.  
• I went to the OC Fair with Kyle’s mom today.  I hadn’t been to a fair in two years, so that was pretty fun.  I even had a few bites of a deep fried Klondike bar!
• I’ve read a lot this summer!  It’s been nice reading for pleasure.  I finished Year of the Flood and I’m on the third book of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series.
• I go to work with my dad every Saturday and he pays me 50 dollars every Saturday I work.  I’m glad I agreed to help all summer.  I used to work with my dad all the time when I was younger and I really missed it.  It’s fun cause we work well together, and we’re really efficient.  And it’s fun to goof off and tease each other while we work too.  :D

So I guess that’s it for now.  What the hell, it’s almost midnight?!  I started writing this at like 10…