It’s so hard to focus!  I’ve been studying ochem for way too long.  I suppose I can take a break to write, it’s been awhile.  

I can’t believe this is already the 7th week of the quarter.  It’s nearly half way through November!  It’s almost 2012.  I can possibly graduate in 2013.  Holy shit.  It’s insane..  It feels like just a couple weeks ago was the beginning of the quarter and I was freaking out about transferring, and now we’re almost done with it.  Awesome.  Life is going okay so far.  It’s getting a little stressful with this midterm and two papers due for feminism, but I’m managing.  Kyle is coming up on Thursday night and I’m so excited.  Thursday is also the day of my midterm, so that night is going to be just sheer euphoria.  I’m stoked.  Things have been good between us too.  We’re doing okay.  Much better than a few weeks ago before he came up.  That’s another thing I’m thankful for, having a stable relationship.  I’m thankful I have someone to depend on.  I myself am doing okay too.  I’m eating better, sorta.  I’m actually having a regular dinner item for dinner now instead of a bowl of cereal, which is good.  I still get stomach aches sometimes from the food though so I might start falling back onto cereal..  Who knows.  It’ll be so nice to go home and have a kitchen again.  Soo damn nice.  I really miss baking!  And maybe going home will improve my eating habits.  Yesterday I was getting really stressed out and a lot of old feelings started coming back.  I can’t let myself get that way though.  There’s other ways to relieve stress, and there are other things I can control besides what I eat.  Food isn’t the only thing I have control over, and I need to remember that when things start getting out of hand.  It’s a long process though.  This whole daylight savings time ending is weird!  It trips me out going to dinner when it’s super dark outside, and it’s only 6pm.  And waking up this morning at 7 and it was already super sunny.  That’s gonna be sooo helpful tomorrow morning when I need to wake up at 6:50 for class.  Yes.  Thank you sun.  I wish it wasn’t cold though!  Or at least, I wish I wasn’t alone when it’s cold.  I wish Kyle was here, so then I would have someone to at least sit close to for body heat.  Instead I just have to wear a million layers…  Soon though!  Soon.  

I was talking with Kyle last night and Kevin this morning at breakfast, and I’m really starting to realize that I’m growing up.  My next birthday is going to be 20.  In the 20’s and out of the teens.  Craziness.  I also realized that I’m almost half way through my college career.  I can be all done with my degree by the end of what would be my junior year.  And then boom!  Real world.  What is life like without school?  I’ve only ever known going to school and studying and not having a job.  What do I even want to do with my life?  I should start looking into grad schools and stuff.  I should also look into internships and research assistant positions..  I need experience.  I need to know if this is what I want to do or not.  Who knows, maybe I’ll end up as a biology teacher instead.  I’m definitely learning that you can only plan so much in life.  It only takes you so far before something you weren’t expecting jumps in and twists everything around.  So who knows where I’ll be.  Maybe when I graduate Kyle and I will find a place together.  Or maybe we won’t be together anymore for some reason, and I’ll end up back at home.  I really hope not!  But you never know.  A lot can happen in a short amount of time.  I’m trying to just take everything as it comes and go with the flow.  I need to stress less.  It is what it is, and whatever happens happens.  I’ll find a way to make things work one way or another.  

I will say this though, I like who I’m becoming.  I try to always be good to people, and do the right thing.  I’m always offering a helping hand to anyone who needs anything.  I try to be friendly and always smile at people.  Random acts of kindness really go a long way, cause whenever someone smiles at me when I’m walking to class or somewhere, it really brightens my day.  I just want to be remembered as someone who was a genuinely good person.  Anyway, I need to go eat and get back to studying.  I think the only way I know how to end these is by saying I don’t know how to end them…  Here, I’ll end with life is good.  :)